Alot of things have happened over the last few weeks. Some to me and some to people that I care about. Some of the things that have happened have been mentioned before in this blog and some of them are too personal to post on the public domain.
One thing that has happened has started to worry me a lot. Someone I care about is going through a hard time at the moment from what I assume are constant confussing thoughts about a crush he has. Unfortunately he feels that he can not talk to me about this. The hardest part about this for me is to see a friend of mine suffer. I'm sure he knows that I wouldn't dream of judging him and I'm sure he has his reasons for not telling me.
Now, he has decided to bottle his feelings up and ignore them. This too worries me greatly. I know what can happen when strong feelings are bottled up. Eventually you are forced to face them as they fight their way to the surface. Often the result is far from pretty too. I have learned, often the hard way, that talking about your problems is often the better solution.
It has also came to my attention that he is barely sleeping these days. I'm not sure of the cause of this, but if it is related to these "thoughts or feelings", then surely ignoring the situation will only make things worse. If nothing else, health should always come before pride.
He has claimed on a few occasions that the situation is "complicated". Truthfully, when are matters of the heart not complicated. Bottom line is, there is nothing that he can say that will make me think any different of him. But I also realise that pushing him into talking will only push him away.
I just hope he will realise that I am here for him and want to help in anyway that I can because it is killing me not being able to.
-Paul
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